ON REJECTION
Have you ever held your hand up for a high-five only to be ignored by your intended partner? Ever accepted a letter from your dream school that basically said you were too dumb to enroll? Ever asked a person out for a date only to get shot down, set on fire, and buried under two tons of dirt? (Disclaimer: these may seem like exaggerations, but trust me when I say that the feeling is the same.) Well, worry not, my friend. You are not alone. I know all about that longing and ache, and we've all been there sometimes. If this is your first time, though, or if you're just sick of the constant rejection, then you've come to the right place. Here is a little walkthrough for a not-so-little thing called Rejection.
Rejection is like puberty for the soul. It's a rite of passage for everyone in order to enter the complex and often confusing web that is adulthood. Much like its physical counterpart, rejection is painful, embarrassing, and something you will never forget going through. It comes back late at night when you're about to go to sleep, and the minute you close your eyes you remember that one time in second grade when your best friend didn't see you asking for a high-five and left you hanging in front of the whole school population to see. This usually results in you cringing underneath your blankets and vowing never to get out of bed again. Trust me, I've been there. We all get rejected—it's a part of life, and there's no need to dwell over it. Unless its a really emotionally-invested rejection, like if your girlfriend of ten years rejects you when you ask her to marry you, or if you're a dying soldier and the medical staff refuse to treat you on the account that you're too late to be saved. In which case you are allowed to dwell over the rejection and curse the Heavens for this cruel happenstance. And then you die. Emotionally or literally. Either way, it's not a peaceful death.
Going back, rejection is Not A Good Feeling, Dude. It feels like a lump in your throat and a weight sitting pretty on your chest. Whether it happens in public or private, it will feel the same. It will feel like death itself trying to embarrass you enough to make you want to die. Sometimes you will, sometimes you won't. It's all about shaking it off. If you're not easily swayed by stuff like these, congratulations. You are Emotionally Stable! People long to be just like you, you lucky motherfucker. However, if you are part of the unfortunate percentage that takes every rejection like a Nerf gun to the crotch (just like me!) then you need a little more time to recuperate.
So. What should you do if you get rejected? Here are a few tips from a fellow rejectee.
First, stay calm. No matter how anyone delivers the tragic news to you, you must always remember to stay calm. Don't lash out or talk in high-pitched voices or start crying in public. Take a deep breath or two, close your eyes, imagine your happy place. It's okay to be upset, but don't do anything irrational—it'll end worse than it started. So the best thing to do is stay calm, accept it for the meantime, and walk away.
Second—and this is my favorite part—let it out. You kept it in for the sake of preventing yourself from further humiliation, but once you're in a space that you're comfortable in or with friends to cheer you up, let that monster rip. It may come in nasty words or tears and chocolate-stained lips, but as much as possible let it out. That shit is toxic. Don't keep it in. If you do, it'll just find a way to leave your body and it might do so in front of people you love. And it may hurt them. So it's okay, let it out. Rant on Twitter, crush an apple with your bare hands, write a ten-page letter (Times New Roman, font size 9) about how much your life sucks. Just get it out of your system.
Third, start your healing process. Watch feel-good movies and eat ice cream straight out of the tub. Anything it takes to make yourself feel significantly less shitty, you do it. Except if it's illegal. In that case, consider taking up a different lifestyle, because I am not about to promote murder or hard drugs.
And while you're in your own little mourning period, take some time to do the fourth step: reflect. This is usually where you ask yourself, "Where did I go wrong?" or "How could I have made it better?" This is where you retrace your steps and realize your mistakes along the way, and how you can improve yourself next time. However, if you really were just screwed over, it's best not to take revenge. No matter how much you want to key that bastard's car or whatever, it's not going to be worth it. Trust me.
And what else? Love yourself. Tell yourself your mistakes do not define you and rejection is only a small hurdle in the marathon that is life. These are things that will help you get through your slump, get back on your feet, and conquer the world. Think about how J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 different publishing houses, or how most of the successful people in the world had dropped out of school, kicked out of homes, or have experienced rejection somehow. Who knows? Maybe this is your success story, too. Don't hate your rejection. Own it. It's another story to tell when you're old and filthy rich, surrounded by great-grandchildren and pots of gold.
I'm not saying these are the only ways to get over your rejection. This is merely a guideline in case you don't know what to do. (For me, that is exactly the case in most situations.) You might think everything I wrote was just a bunch of horse crap. By all means, please feel free to comment on how I don't know anything about your pain, because you're right. This isn't a one-size-fits-all deal, and I respect that. Just move on and ignore me, if that's the case. One more rejection won't hurt me.
At the end of everything, rejection will always be a constant in everyone's life, and there's nothing wrong with that. All you need to do is find ways to absorb it to make yourself stronger. You know what they all say: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And rejection will try to kill you.
Kill it back.
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